Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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