I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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