The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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