i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
She announced her abortion via fbk
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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