I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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