i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
