I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
