when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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