so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
