He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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