Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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