Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
