What a fucking waste of an outfit
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
