it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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