sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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