Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
