I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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