you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
