definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
