FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
