His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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