Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
