thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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