Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
