I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
