It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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