I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
