no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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