she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
