Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
this will be a night to untag.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
