I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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