clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
