I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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