we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
