I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
