when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
