We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
