I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
