it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
