she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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