Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
