I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
