so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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