Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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