I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
