dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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