The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
