And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
