How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
