she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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