i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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