when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize