honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
