big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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